Redeeming Love and How To Disagree
The movie Redeeming Love brings reviews that run the spectrum of opinion. Taken from Francine Rivers’s book of the same name, which has sold more than three million copies, it tells the gritty, difficult story based on Hosea. Some have applauded the beautiful portrayal of God’s love for His constantly wandering people. Other have cried foul citing the sexual content of the movie.
I am not here to offer another review. I’m writing because I see in this discussion of good movie/bad movie a microcosm of a bigger problem. We’ve lost our ability to disagree and still love each other and I’m getting tired of it.
Warning: I’m about to do me some scolding. I might step on your toes and you might get mad at me. You might not agree with me.
Consider yourself warned. Alrighty then — ready?
Everybody Needs To Calm Down
Vitriol on social media saddens me. Sides drawn. Lines drawn in the sand so deep they look like canyons. And people seem to find great pleasure in spewing venom through their fingers that I can’t imagine they would be willing to express face to face.
I would like to express a shocking idea here: We can think oppositely on a subject or politics or doctrine, and we can still be nice to each other.
Shocking?
We can despise the platform of a presidential candidate and not despise the person who voted for him.
More shocking. I know.
Hey Church — I’m Talking To You
It shouldn’t surprise us that the world has lost its manners or ability to disagree with decorum. But the people I’m shaking my finger at is US — THE CHURCH!
I would like to point out that Biblical commands don’t disappear because you think someone else is majorly wrong. Your passion does not excuse your rudeness. Colossians still says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” - (Colossians 4:6 ESV)
We also have this from Paul to the Ephesians, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” - Ephesians 4:29 ESV
Since I raised a passel of children, I can hear the “yeah, buts” formulating in your mind. Our self-justification looks similar to a child’s, even if we are “mature” enough to tack Jesus into our reason.
Yeah, but, THEY said …
Yeah, but, Jesus said …
Yeah, but you don't understand what might happen if …
I get it. You want to save the world from the Armageddon that will surely occur if you don’t FIX IT. However, let me point out a fact. You are NOT the Fixer. Jesus is.
The church did a poor job with both Colossians 4:6 and Ephesians 4:29 in the last election. Apparently, it seemed incomprehensible that someone could love Jesus and vote for ____________. I can leave this blank because I heard this from both sides of the ballot box.
Now, I’m hearing this combativeness again on a totally different subject and once again I want to pick the church up by the shoulders and give her a big shake and exclaim, “Stop it! Hush! If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
The current subject that allows us to volley cannon balls of self-indignation at each other? This movie.
Redeeming Love
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers changed many lives. It takes the story of Hosea (hard storyline written by God) and plunks it down in California during the Gold Rush. I want to say a few personal things right off:
This book has stuck with me since I read it over twenty-five years ago.
I’ve never seen the grossness of my sin or the grandeur of God’s love so vividly displayed as through this story.
But, because of some of the disturbing pictures in my mind from the story, I’ve never read it again. I have recommended it to others with disclosure of the story line so they are prepared.
I heard Francine Rivers speak at a writing conference. What a privilege to listen to her commitment to the Word and its integrity. She mesmerized me.
In another miraculous stroke, we ended up at the book signing table. Let me just say Francine signed MANY MORE books than I did!
But I fell more in love with her when I found myself sitting at a table with her (only Jesus could have arranged that as a special gift to me), while we sipped coffee and discussed life. I’ve rarely met a woman so saturated with the Word of God and more committed to sharing truth with a world that desperately needs Him. Her warmth and friendliness to me happened at a moment when I sat near tears, feeling so under-qualified and ridiculous to have dared come to such a conference. The simple conversation with her turned the tide of that week for me.
I feel reverence and a touch of awe when I think of Frani. (That’s what her friends call her. I’m not her friend, but since we shared coffee I call her that in my mind and it makes me smile.)
I knew when Redeeming Love was being made into a movie, it would be difficult to portray the story without offending many. The story is offensive because sin is offensive. Awful. Horrible. And so very damaging. That fact displays the magnificence of the love in the story.
I’ve read a few posts that were thoughtful about their concerns. Discussion and discourse and debate are healthy, as long as they are carried out under the Colossian 4:6 and Ephesian 4:29 guidelines. We should wrestle with truth. For iron to sharpen iron, contact is required.
I would like to say some things:
If you support and promote Redeeming Love that is good (and you are not going to lose your salvation.)
If you respectfully choose to not go to the movie and graciously give your reasons when asked, you are not hateful or bigoted.
If the movie moves your soul and powerfully shows you the love of God, you are not guilty of compromising your morals.
If the sexual scenes in the movie bother you and you prefer to look away or not go at all, you are not a prude and you are not disconnected from reality.
That being said, the scolding comes NOW. Church — we can do better!
We can love each other with our different strong convictions and we can make room for other people. Can you imagine how much that love and respect would stick out to the world? It would be a megaphone to the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit.
Shouldn’t we let the Holy Spirit help us disagree graciously?
Couldn’t we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us to voice concerns without lambasting someone else?
Isn’t the Holy Spirit big enough to be able to lead people in different ways, according to their different experiences?
Learn How To Have Different Opinions
Could we just make room for each other to have different opinions? The Christians in Rome struggled with this over food and when to worship amongst other things.
Romans 14:3-8 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. 5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. - ESV
Did you see verse 4?
4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
We all serve Jesus, not each other. He reigns as Lord and He controls our lives. He corrects and He guides.
What if we trusted the Lord to be able to make us stand (verse 4)?
What if we trusted Jesus more and our own thoughts less?
What if on non-salvation issues we let people “be fully convinced in his own mind.” (vs. 5b)
What if we trusted Jesus enough to be kind to those we disagree with? (And I am saying this to both sides of the argument.)
Romans 14:3-8 teaches us that no matter what we RESOLUTELY believe about what day to worship or eating meat sacrificed to idols, or women preaching, or infant vs. believer’s baptism, or hymns vs. contemporary music, or the use of drums in church, or ANY OTHER THING, we should live by our conviction in honor to the Lord and then thank Him. (Romans 14:6) Live to the Lord because you are His.
And then trust Him and His Holy Spirit to work things out. People in the church who disagree are not your enemy.
We HAVE An Enemy
We have an enemy and it is not each other! The church’s enemy lies, accuses, provokes, and does so with aplomb. Honesty and valor are not in his playbook.
How much he must enjoy it when we do his job for him.
Tricia Goyer, author and personal friend of Francine Rivers (she calls her Frani for real), supported the movie and received backlash. Ugly backlash.
After a few days of frustration, she shared a post on Facebook about an exchange between Fred Rogers (yes, that Mr. Rogers!) and Henri Nouwen written by Adam Baker. As someone who grew up idolizing Mr Rodgers and who desperately wanted to look like Lady Aberlin, even though I identified more with Daniel Tiger, it seems inconceivable that someone would write a hit piece about Fred Rogers, the nicest man in America.
Henri Nouwen wrote Fred back:
"I read the article you sent me and can very well understand how much that must have hurt you. It must be really painful to be confronted with a total misunderstanding of your mission and your spiritual intentions.
It is these little persecutions within the church that hurt the most. I simply hope that you are not too surprised by them. They come and will keep coming precisely when you do something significant for the Kingdom. It has always struck me that the real pain comes often from the people from whom we expected real support. It was Jesus’ experience and the experience of all the great visionaries in the Church, and it continues to be the experience of many who are committed to Jesus.”
I have some suggestions:
Let’s stop persecuting other people in the church.
Let’s not ask each other to not hold the convictions we believe.
Let’s turn to the Word with every strongly held opinion and hold it under the glaring light of Scripture and then obey the conforming Jesus wants to bring to our thoughts.
Let’s love each other so profoundly like Jesus, that we would rather wash the feet of someone we disagree with than castigate them publicly.
Let’s go to each other privately with disagreements.
Let’s allow a believer’s own church to deal with things instead of feeling like we need to course correct every person we disagree with on social media.
I’m Not Compromising, I’m Loving
Look, I’m a prophet by spiritual gift. I hold STRONG opinions that I want to share with everybody. I love to help and teach people straight from the Bible. If you want to sit down to coffee and hammer out differing opinions through the lens of Scripture, I’m your gal.
So I’m not talking about not standing for truth.
I’m not telling you to not have convictions.
I’m not saying that there aren’t right and wrong points to scripture. I AM saying that not every opinion is a salvation issue.
AND, I’m saying every disagreement is always a LOVE issue.
How will you love? How will you correct in love? How will you live for Christ and encourage someone who thinks differently on a lesser issue to do the same?
Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. - Proverbs 3:3 NASB95
We should hold truth and kindness in both hands and live under the direction of both simultaneously. We must learn to advocate truth with kindness because love leads the way.
As for Redeeming Love, it might be absolutely NOT the movie for you. And it might also be the perfect movie for someone else. God is big enough for both.
You can recommend to your friends not to see the movie and still not try to go correct those who do recommend it.
You can advocate for the beauty of the message portrayed and not down play those who don’t want to see it.
And for heaven’s sake, do not castigate your sister in Jesus, Francine Rivers. Her steadfast service for Jesus through every book she has written, including some ones with gritty topics, has ministered to circles a nice G rated book or movie would never reach.
Women who have been trafficked or who fell into prostitution (because no one goes there as a first option) and who felt they would NEVER be able to move past their horrific experiences have found help and hope and grace and rebirth through the REDEEMING LOVE of Jesus written in her book. There will be scores of women in heaven, standing beside you in the throne room praising The Lamb because of that story.
A story originally written by God in Hosea.
A story finally written on the cross, for me and for you.
Can’t we look at the cross and then each other? I bet we would love each other more. I bet we would disagree better. I bet our words would change.
Church, we can and we must do better.
If you want to comment, I’d love it. What I’d really love to hear are ways you try to stand for truth while walking in love. Let’s help each other.
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