How To Lead Children to Jesus For A Lifetime
I Asked Jesus Into My Heart
“Did you have a good time?” I asked my five-year-old son as he hopped in the car after Vacation Bible School.
“Yep.”
“That’s good,” I said absentmindedly as I maneuvered his seat-belt.
“I asked Jesus into my heart.”
I stopped to examine his matter-of-fact eyes. I wanted to rejoice, but could he possibly understand what he just said? Drawing a deep breath I said, “Wow! Tell me about that.”
He told me how his teacher had explained salvation and that when she asked if anyone wanted to pray, he had raised his hand and done just that.
“That’s great honey. My relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life.” Not sure whether to doubt or hope, I drove out of the parking lot and wondered, how could I guide my young son to a lifetime of true faith?
Now, twenty-five years later, he tells me he made “the decision” because he was the only one in his class that hadn't done it yet. Besides, he would get a cool green New Testament if he raised his hand for Jesus. Thankfully, his faith grew into something deep and real, and he serves the Lord to this day.
I have seven children and each one answered the Lord’s call to their heart at different times and in different ways. Those that experienced Jesus early in life all needed to reexamine that decision as they aged. And each traveled their own roads of doubt and struggle along the way. They stumbled and fell and sometimes took quite a while to find their way back to the path. But watching them now as adults live authentic lives of faith blesses my heart more than any other thing.
Salvation rests in the Lord’s hands. But as believing parents we want to cultivate a healthy environment for that to happen. We live in a time when young people are leaving the church in droves, which grieves my heart.
But when people ask me, “What did you do that your kids still believe?” I feel nervous and humbled. I am tempted to say, “With as many times as I messed up and displayed anything but Jesus, I don’t know!”
Since I would like to be more helpful than that, I’ve taken time to look back. I believe I have identified five practices that helped encourage true faith in Jesus in my children’s lives.
PRAY
Paul informs the Colossians that, “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God.” Colossians 4:12
Epaphras struggled in his prayers. Other versions translate “struggling” as “labored earnestly” or “wrestled.” That’s how I had to pray over my children as I asked Jesus that they would stand mature and fully assured in Him one day! My prayers couldn’t be casual or light hearted, but ones that caused me to break a sweat!
However, as a busy mom, I struggled to keep up with sports schedules, get dinner on the table, and make sure everyone had clean underwear. Perpetual guilt over not praying often enough or hard enough hovered over my heart.
I didn’t have time to keep a prayer journal or sit quietly praying for my kids like I assumed all the good moms did. Then the Lord touched me and encouraged me to just speak with Him. That shifted the way I looked at prayer. Even though it seemed to be a constantly interrupted conversation with Jesus, prayer became sacred as it wove in and around my day.
I started talking to Jesus in the car about the child in the back complaining about the unfairness of life. As I folded laundry, I prayed for whichever child’s clothes were in my hand. I tried to remember to pray for and with a child before I confronted wrong behavior. Instead of complaining to a friend about a parenting difficulty, I’d complain to Jesus instead, and then listen intently for His help. I prayed as I drifted off to sleep.
Remember, moments of prayer add together into something significant. And, we might not see the fruit of our prayers for decades, but we must keep praying in faith for our kids.
PRIORITIZE MY OWN SPIRITUAL LIFE
I wanted my kids to think life with Jesus was important, so I attempted to model that for them. But I’ve discovered that the most important way I accomplished this wasn’t even on purpose,
Every morning I started the day with my quiet time. As a Mom, I tried to get up early and finish before the kids woke. As an introvert, I craved that peaceful aloneness.
Many mornings, however, I didn’t get up early enough. When that happened I would say “good morning” and then let them know I would be with them after I was done. They could look at a book quietly while Mama had her quiet time or pour themselves some cereal. They learned that when I had my Bible and journal open to not bother me.
The old saying, “more is caught than taught” gets repeated for a reason. As my children grew up, more than one came back to say that seeing me there every morning emphasized the importance of the Bible. Actually, they only saw me when I failed to finish before they awoke. But it turns out that Jesus used them consistently catching me in the Word more than if I had made a big point about it.
We need to display in real life what we hope they will emulate.
APOLOGIZE
Apologizing when I was wrong never came easy. I feared losing my authority as a parent. I also had to avoid the temptation to blame my bad behavior on theirs. My apology would mean nothing if I said something like, “Sorry I yelled, but you were not listening.”
Let's just be honest – humility hurts. Yet our humble Savior modeled this for us as He lived among us and He died for us on the cross. Even our reluctant humility points to Him.
I had to rely on Jesus to give me the grace to behave like Him since I never felt like behaving like that. I would claim James 4:6b when I needed help. "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
When I apologized and asked for their forgiveness, I was letting them know that Mom needed Jesus just as much as they did. It gave me the chance to live the gospel in front of them.
We needed to sincerely apply Jesus-level humility with our kids.
GOSPEL CENTERED FAMILY LIFE
No matter how well-behaved I could act in public, our children saw my sins up close and personal every day. They lived with me when I was grumpy from not getting enough sleep, when I was hangry and ready to bite someone’s head off, or when I was angry about the messes strewn from the living room to their bedroom. There was no hiding the real me that showed up whether I’d had my quiet time or not.
That explains why I needed to apologize, but living the gospel meant I needed to do more. I would tell them, “Jesus just convicted me that the way I spoke to you was wrong. He doesn’t want me talking to you like that. Do you forgive me?”
I didn’t do this as often as I should have. But every time I did I displayed that Jesus was real and working in me. He loved them and cared how I spoke and acted to them. His living in me meant He still worked on me and was continually making a difference in me. He could do the same for them.
As a family, we required our kids to apologize to each other and name what they had done. Mumbling “I’m sorry,” wasn’t enough. They needed to say, “I’m sorry I hit you.” And then they needed to ask for forgiveness. The other child needed to respond, “I forgive you.”
Family life abounds with opportunities to practice gospel life. We try to love and obey Jesus, but we often mess up and hurt each other. Then we apologize, ask for forgiveness, offer forgiveness, experience restoration, and then try again.
That’s the gospel in 3-D and the best relationships result from this kind of gospel-centered family.
DISPLAY THAT JESUS IS FUN
I wanted my children to DESIRE the same Jesus that I loved so much. But if following Jesus looked like something that limited all forms of fun and enjoyment, that wouldn’t be very attractive.
I tried to display that Jesus was real and life with Him was the best. So, I told them about answered prayers. When I discovered some nugget in Scripture I’d enthusiastically share it with them. I’d point out the glory of His creation or the cool way He designed bugs. I’d loudly turn on upbeat Christian music and dance with them in the living room. In the car, I sang along to our favorite praise songs at the top of my lungs.
Jesus is good and fun and joyful and a treasure. I wanted to live that way in front of them as much as possible.
JESUS CAUSES THE GROWTH
As I look back on life with my kids, I don’t think I did a single one of the items in this article enough. The busyness of Mom life blurs as one days rolls into another and lost moments of opportunities collect. I wish I had danced with them more often and sang louder. I wish I’d confessed every time Jesus convicted me.
But thankfully Jesus took my five measly loaves and two little fish of the times I obeyed Him and multiplied them through His Spirit. He took my not enough and fed my children’s souls while calling them to Himself.
Even now, I realize they are not immune from future seasons of doubt or struggle, but I hope they have the tools and the heart to always return to the Savior we love. I still labor in prayer for my children, their spouses, and now my grandchildren. I apologize when I need to and I share the joy of Jesus. I make a big deal when our family experiences answered prayer. And the next time the grandkids come over, I’m definitely turning up some fun praise music and dancing with them in the living room.
In my incomplete way, I want to live a life that invites my family into a more authentic, real life with Jesus, the most precious relationship of my life.
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