My thoughts and dreams aren’t drastically different than when I was twenty. But when I look in the mirror at my furrowed brow, graying hair, and weird old-lady throat, I feel miles from twenty. Like, the other side of the planet from twenty.

My children are grown. Their careers and families fill their lives, just as it should be. But where does that leave me? Am I the only one who looks at the empty nest with a strong feeling that something should come next, but with an uncertainty of what that is?

But I don’t think figuring out that question is our first and  biggest issue in the empty nest. 

Past hurts or disappointments or failures can keep us from moving forward in our empty nest years.

How do we move ahead when life has been hard? It’s important to ask this question, because we’re supposed to move ahead. The first step forward into our next call might need some real healing from our past. We probably all exclaim, “Healing? Of course I want to be healed!” But do we really? Because to move forward healed will mean we will deal with and leave behind the hurts of the past.

Jesus: Do You Want To Be Healed?

Early in Jesus’s ministry, He visits Jerusalem and finds a man sitting by the Pool of Bethesda.

John 5:5-9: One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be healed?" The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me." 

If you have not watched this episode of The Chosen, go watch after you finish this podcast.

This man had spent thirty-eight years paralyzed. He’d never been healed, but when Jesus asks him if he WANTS to be healed, his answer is telling because he doesn’t say “Yes,” right away. He complains that no one helps him and someone else gets in front of him. I think his story can be a vivid lesson for our empty nest years.

First, we’ve spent our adulthood (our “thirty-eight years”) tending others. I’m not saying homemaking is paralyzing, but it offers many opportunities for bitterness to grow. Life is hard. People are difficult. Tragedies, disease, and financial ruin come calling in everyone’s lives. Besides that, most work of nest building goes unnoticed, unless it is left undone. 

After years of unsung work where we’ve cooked, cleaned, kissed boo-boos, tutored math we didn’t understand, served as taxi service to sports practices and piano lessons, worn old shoes so our child whose feet are growing a size every week can have another new pair, shivered in the stands or roasted on the sidelines, depending on the season, and stayed up late into the night either creating a costume for a school presentation or worrying over the teenager who hasn’t come home yet. Our hearts and bodies and emotions and brains are worn out.

So we lay by the pool of refreshment and blame others. I just can’t be the only one here. I’m not paralyzed emotionally, but after my “thirty-eight years” I feel it some days. And it feels like someone else’s fault. So I curl up and moan and just know I could get up and do something if only I could get some help for once in my life.

But my Savior kneels down, takes my hand, and asks me, “Do you want to be healed?” I can’t offer excuses when I look in His eyes. I know better than to blame someone else. Yes, I want to be healed. I want to jump up and serve Him. I want to take up my bed of self-pity, indecision, and confusion and walk after Him. In fact, I want to RUN in pursuit of Jesus and in obedience to His call.

I don’t believe Jesus requires us to ignore our struggles, but we do need to deal with them. 

We experience many challenges that can paralyze us. No matter what we’ve gone through up to this point, we have the opportunity of healing. But the question remains: Do we want to be healed? Because the Healer is calling us to life in His name. True healing comes as truth pushes out our excuses.

John 5:8 Jesus said to him, "Get up, take up your bed, and walk." And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked. Now that day was the Sabbath.

In the next few blogs and podcast episodes, I’ll discuss some of what we struggle with and what can keep us from getting healed. I’m so glad we don’t have to struggle to try and get in a pool to be healed.

But, we do have to believe Jesus. We have to forgive the past hurts. We have to thank Jesus for the heartache He allowed in our life. We have to pick up our mat, — think of this as our excuses or the blame we lay on others or the bitterness we keep close so the perpetrator of our hurt doesn’t “get away” with their wrong — get up, and walk.

Walk in the way He points out to us.

Walk to the people He has for us to minister to.

Walk in the obedience of forgiveness, gratefulness, long-suffering, and love. 

We should get healed and then get busy following!

Sweet sister, look in your Healer’s eyes. He doesn’t want you to lay close to healing but allow excuses, resentment, and unforgiveness to keep you paralyzed.

He wants you to have abundant life in Him!

Let’s get up and walk!

PODCAST

If you would like to listen to the podcast episode about this, listen here:

• Do You WANT To Be Healed?