The Perfect Home

Close your eyes and think of the word, HOME.

What comes to mind?

I picture a large rock fireplace and expansive front window viewing an open field. I feel the worn leather sofa that’s experienced so much family life from cuddling with kids to read books or watch movies, to dating couples sneaking kisses, to long conversations with tears and hugs, as well as its fair share of arguments, spilled drinks, and grandkids jumping until an adult reminds them the trampoline is in the backyard and we sit on the sofa.

We moved here eighteen years ago after twenty years of nomadic, military living during which we moved eleven times. When we joyfully settled on these eight acres near our extended families, our oldest was sixteen and our youngest only one, so she has no memories of any other dwelling. I planned on living here forever.

But, these days our idyllic Texas Hill Country home sits quiet and sparsely populated. Two of the bedrooms remain empty, waiting for visiting kids and grandkids. 

To me, home means overcrowding, warm meals, squeezing one more around the table, overflowing bedrooms, and scattered toys. After eighteen years, our house has become another member of the family. 

We’ve welcomed hoards of people into these walls. We've hosted huge parties, graduated our kids, celebrated impending weddings, gathered around the table believing there was always room for one more, set off mounds of fireworks, and cooked gallons and gallons of chili here. We’ve written our family history on the walls and infused laughter and tears into the air.

But now, after almost two stationary decades, once again, the Lord calls us to get up and go. I think He is repositioning us for His next call on our lives. And while I strive to obey, I’m finding it challenging. How do we move and remain standing on our foundation?

What Is Your Perfect Home?

I love home improvement shows. Something about the transformation and redemption of an old space into something bright and useful resonates with me.

What would your perfect home be? How would you decorate if you weren’t limited by budget or location? 

I love craftsman style with the beautiful built-ins included at the turn of the last century. And when we lived in Albuquerque, I fell in love with the Santa Fe style. The clean white adobe and corner fireplaces felt warm and inviting. Also, being a mountain vacation girl, I find the cabin look cozy.

This could explain my schizophrenic approach to decorating, though I’ve always attributed that more to the garage sale and thrift store accumulation of household goods. 

It’s in our nature to care about our homes. We work to decorate and personalize them. House reno shows remain perennially popular. There's a hint floating in the back of our minds that maybe, if we could just get our house to look like THAT we'd be happy. Contentment is just a wall of ship-lap away.

But my family’s impending move keeps shifting my vision and definition of home. A question has occurred to me: what if home is not a place?

Home Is Not A Place

What happened to us that we would leave the margin of no neighbors, the perfect view of a sunset, and the open country feel? We lose half our square footage and go from a 3 car garage to no garage. The tiny bathrooms, small kitchen, and half the closets in our new home require major downsizing.

Practical reasons to move abound. First, most of our kids have moved out and we need less space. Decreased expenses will open opportunities for travel. We will live close to kids, grandbabies, and my parents. And the amount we need to mow will fall by 90%!

But, for me at least, there’s a bigger reason. I strongly feel the Lord’s leading. He’s asking me to lighten my load. For me to be ready and available in this season of life, I need to have less to care for and manage. 

He’s driving the message deep into my heart that THIS is not my home. 

Not the house of the last eighteen years.

Not the house we’re moving into.

The foundation of our family isn’t a place. It is a Person, and He never changes or moves or leaves or looks away.

Jesus: My Home

He’s my home.

• In John 15:4 Jesus says, “Abide in me, and I in you...”

Our longing for home reflects back to Eden where Adam and Eve walked in the cool of the evening with the Lord. We were created for belonging and relationship. And ever since Adam and Eve got themselves expelled from the perfect abode, humanity has striven to recreate perfection, though that ceased to be achievable outside of Eden’s borders. 

The gift of our Savior includes re-establishing that intimate relationship. That’s the beauty of this promise:

• Jesus answered him, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” (John 14:23)

If the Great Creator God of the Universe will choose to Abide IN me, where else could I possibly put myself but IN Him. And if I am IN HIM, my external location isn’t my security.

I’m not meant to find my stability in a place. The most beautiful situation or the most perfect house is just a vaporous illusion of what we were created for.

THIS isn’t our home.

He is my home. He is my contentment. He is my safety.

On this world, we are strangers and aliens, just traveling through, following the map Jesus provides as best we can. Our feet remain planted on the Rock, finding Home in His arms. Then we’re free to go where He leads, hike new paths, proclaim His name, and build His Kingdom.

• Ephesians 2:19-20 - So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the CORNERSTONE, 

There Is No Perfect Home Here

Our homes give us a place to gather our families and provide security in a turbulent world. I want my children to always know that no matter their age we offer a safe place to land. This truth stands wherever we live.

BUT- I also want them to not look to us for ultimate security. They must find that in their Savior, the only reliable Home that never leaves or forsakes them.

And so I suggest to you the same lesson Jesus is teaching me. Our physical homes are blessings to be shared with those around us. But they will NEVER provide the security and belonging we long for.

I Will Be Your Home

During this transition, an old song have echoed through my mind. Here are part of the lyrics:

We cannot create the perfect home.
We will never find our full satisfaction in an earthly dwelling.
But we can experience stability, security, and belonging in Jesus - our perfect Home.

Let’s Stay In Touch

I’d love to pass on my free ebook to help you pray for your kids. As my kids have all flown the nest, I’ve grown in my commitment to pray for them. Let’s pray for the next generation together!