Too Old or Too Late?

Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote her iconic books in her sixties.

Anna Mary Robertson Moses (aka, Grandma Moses) started painting at 78.

Sarah was pregnant with Isaac at 99.

Moses led God’s people out of Egypt at 80, and then forty years later Caleb led them in battle when he was 80.

I am closing in on 60. But I often feel too late. I waited too long. I’m too old. I should have published multiple books by now. I should have established a speaking ministry already. I’m too old for anyone to want to listen to me. And I have failed the Lord by not doing His work sooner.

Of course this would mean I’m saying my years of family building, motherhood, marriage preservation, hospitality, homeschooling, Bible study, and blogging wasn’t His work. And when I stand back, I can honestly say I don’t believe that.

Yet, it can still feel that way. Even when I know better. Because what I know and what I feel are often different!

But I Feel Too Late!

I hold a clear memory of a moment that crystallized all my doubt. I remember the exact spot on the road I was driving as I listened to a podcast interview of Beth Moore. She didn’t say anything wrong, but her words washed over me with waves of doubt, self-recrimination and too-lateness. Her focus called on the young generation. Every word was good and true as she encouraged young leaders to stay faithful to the Word and their ministries so they could continue in faithfulness. All good stuff. They needed to step up and be the next ones to speak valiantly for Jesus.

But I couldn’t stop the flow of tears.

She’s calling up youth and I haven’t gotten started.

Why should I even try?

I should be at a place to mentor others when I’m trying to begin myself.

I clearly heard the voice of my inner critic, loud and mean. I’ve failed. I’ve dropped the ball. I’m not needed anymore. I should get out of the way for the younger generation with years of service ahead of them.

Where do these doubts come from? Is the Lord giving me this message? Or the world? Or my enemy? Certainly the enemy resists ANYONE proclaiming truth -- even someone that’s too late. Our culture values youth, which might explain why so many expensive creams to banish wrinkles and age spots are on the market.

I Need God’s View

In the moment of my despair and almost quitting, I needed truth. I needed glasses to clarify God’s plan for me, and I recognize the analogy of corrected vision well because one thing age means is that I don’t see very well anymore. I can’t function without glasses. At this moment my spiritual vision needed correction as well. So after I cried, moaned, and complained for a bit, I finally started to pray. “Please show me Your truth Lord, because right now I’m tempted to go home and watch a movie and get out of the way of the girls getting started earlier in life. Am I just too late?”

I didn’t receive an immediate response. However, over the next few days, my faithful Abba challenged me with what I observed in the Bible. Did He only use the young? Not only is the answer no, it seems to me He purposely aged some of His servants before He called them into service. 

• He promised Sarah would bear a child when she’s already endured years of barrenness. But, year after year passed after the promise. (16) more years, in fact, until she passed through menopause. THEN He planted life within her. 

• The Lord sent Moses out into the desert UNTIL he got old. After Moses turned 80, He used him to lead His people. 

• Anna and Simeon spent their lives quietly serving. In the twilight of their lives, they were allowed the privilege of recognizing the divinity of Jesus, and to be the first people to proclaim that. 

Now, God does use youth. Samuel, Jeremiah, and David received commissions when very young. But that's not the only method nor the preferred practice. The Lord isn’t limited in the ways people are, which can be frustrating when we want to discover The Way. Then we can develop a program, write a book, and proclaim how things work.

The Lord must just laugh at us. He is The Way, but His methods defy limitation.

He does call young women to ministry, and as a Titus 2 woman, Beth Moore should be nurturing the servants behind her. But, that’s not Jesus’s only method.

Before Corrie ten Boom became an international minister after surviving the concentration camps of Nazi Germany, imprisoned at fifty-two years of age for hiding Jews. Her testimony touched many hearts, including mine. Her book, The Hiding Place, awoke my spiritual life to the Lord’s bigness. But before her horrific experiences and super-natural responses vaulted her to the international stage, she lived her life quietly and faithfully for Jesus. Never married, she worked as a watchmaker, ministered to handicapped children, served her family, and loved her Lord. Every single moment of her unseen life trained her for the ministry she couldn’t have imagined. 

For us to not feel too old and too late, we must accept God’s timeline for our lives. As we’ve quietly served our families in the hidden chapels of our homes, we’ve been about the Lord’s work. We’ve earned doctorates in caring for others, wearing multiple hats, and juggling multiple needs, schedules.

Our pains and disappointments also educated us. Our mistakes taught deep wisdom. Our regrets build tolerance for others’ mistakes. Our redemptive Lord wastes nothing. When we lay our worst moments and aching hurts at His feet, He can transform them into a beautiful ministry of love and grace for others.

He can bring beauty from the ashes of a failed marriage, children who’ve walked away from the Lord, or financial ruin.

Even if we spent years living our own way and now, looking back, wish we’d served Jesus in those years, we hold a powerful message for the generations after us. Our regrets hold truth to share. 

No matter our age or past experiences, ministry awaits us when we follow Jesus now. Whatever our age is. 

Our redeeming Lord takes our worst moments and transforms them into a message of His great love. 

What dream seems too old or too far away to still do?

So I’m going to brave and tell you some of my dreams and sense of callings in my life, and then you be brave and share yours in the comments of the blog that go with this podcast, or just share them with a friend. There is something about speaking them out loud that helps us get started.

Here are mine:

• Publish a set of fiction books that bring the parables to life. I’ve already written the first one, and it looks like I’m going to need to self-publish if I want to get these into the world.

• Publish printable Bible study sheets on my website that lead people through the way I outline Scripture to help me see the connections between one verse and the next.

• Be faithful at this podcast. My break

• Speak. Speak. Speak. Right now have NOTHING on calendar, but asking Jesus to give me opportunities.

• Move boldly into the shift in ministry the Lord is pointing me towards.

Did the Lord give you a vision of ministry of area of work years ago? Can you see a place to fulfill that call now? 

Share it and get started! It’s okay if it is messy and awkward and nobody notices. Do it for Jesus and let Him do whatever He wants with you.

Because you know what? You’re not done yet.

Podcast

Here’s a link to the podcast about this: